Susan Murphy-Milano...

A suburban Illinois lawyer hid two tiny wireless cameras in the women's restroom of his Wheaton,IL law office and secretly videotaped women using the toilet, according to a civil lawsuit filed Tuesday by a female employee of the firm. The suit contends attorney Jerald Mangan hid the cameras, which allegedly transmitted images from the restroom to Mangan's computer and to the office's computer server. One camera was discovered in mid-September in a roll of toilet paper, the suit says. A second camera, hidden in a small basket of potpourri, was discovered Oct. 11, according to the suit. "It's shocking any employer would willingly put a camera in a women's restroom,'' said attorney Dennis DeCaro, who filed the lawsuit on behalf of the female employee. The employee wasn't identified by name in the lawsuit, which seeks unspecified damages and was filed in Cook County, where Mangan's firm also has an office. DeCaro said Wheaton police have been contacted about the alleged videotaping, although a police spokesman declined to comment Tuesday. The law firm, Mangan, Langhenry, Gillen and Lundquist, also was named as a defendant in the suit because after the first camera was discovered by a female lawyer, other female employees weren't notified, DeCaro contends. The firm, which has offices in Chicago, Joliet, Wheaton and Rockford, specializes in defending businesses from insurance claims, DeCaro said. A spokeswoman for the law firm said Mangan, 48, is no longer affiliated with the practice, but declined further comment.

Emotionally Abusive Husband

 Dear Susan,

I am writing because I need help.

I am not a physically abused wife, my husband is mentally abusive and has a very ban temper. I want to be prepared if he ever goes after me instead of punching holes in our walls. Sometimes I am afraid to go home at night because I don't know what kind of mood he will be in. I have to tip toe around and be very careful, I don't want to say the wrong thing or he'll blow up. I know I probably sound like an idiot for not leaving him, but I can't. I know if I try to leave he'll come after me, and find me, no matter who I run to. I think of different ways out everyday and nothing seems solid enough. My husband is now thinking about buying a gun and it scares me to death to even think about it. He swears he would never even think about using it on me, but I don't want to take a risk. A man with his temper and instability is capable of dong anything. Please send me as much information as you can about making a plan to leave, and any other information you think will help. Someday with a solid plan, I will get out of here.

Thank you, Joan

This letter is a good example of how hopeless a woman can feel. As you can see that when she begins her letter she is minimizing the abuse.

Then her feelings are escalated to a helplessness and fear of this man.

What can she do? Can she realistically leave safely? The first clue from her letter is that Joan is not believing her own self.

She calls herself an idiot and she says someday, I will get out. She is also alone and isolated from her family and friends and she is embarrassed to tell anyone what's really happening. The first step for her is to call a local women's program and get herself into a counseling program at a battered women's facility. The services are free of charge and in time they will assist her in areas of self-esteem, empowerment, and a plan for leaving. She must begin to believe when she leaves she will be safe. He's manipulating Joan because he knows just where her fears and weaknesses are and he reacts to them to keep her in her place. The problem is, he knows her better than she knows her own self.

This is very common for the majority of victims. “ They feel powerless.” The key here is for Joan to begin to shift gears and work on herself so that she can become strong and finally leave. But, she must have a support system in place for this to happen. The saying "We have nothing to fear, but fear itself", is eye opening. "What is Fear?" We are not born with fear as infants, it is something that another person places upon another individual to get them to react to what they want.

Without having first hand knowledge and meeting Joan personally, the best suggestion if for her to contact the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, which offers counseling and help in her area. The toll-free number is 1-800-799-7233 1-800-787-3224 (TDD for the hearing impaired)

Susan Murphy-Milano is the author of "Moving Out, Moving On" when a rrealtionship goes wrong. Available at Borders, Walden Books, Borders Express and Amazon. 

For more information please contact the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence at 1-800.799-SAFE or visit them on the internet at http://www.ncadv.org

Susan is also the author of "Defending Our Lives", getting away from domestic violence & staying safe (Doubleday Books)

 

"America’s Voiceless” The Children of Divorce

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The word psychosis is used to describe conditions which affect the mind, where there is some loss of contact with reality. Psychosis varies greatly and the term covers a number of related illnesses. When someone becomes ill in this way and loses contact with reality it is called a psychotic episode. People who have experienced this often call it spinning out or going off the planet. With time and the right treatment, most people make a full recovery from the experience. Many may never have another episode. A minority experience psychotic symptoms on a daily basis. Psychosis is most likely to occur in young adults and is quite common. Around 5 out of every 100 people will experience a psychotic episode making psychosis more common than diabetes. Psychosis can happen to anyone. Like any other illness it can be treated. What causes Psychosis? A number of theories have been suggested as to what causes psychosis, but there is still much research to be done. It may be a combination of factors. Chemical imbalance It is commonly believed that a psychotic episode occurs due to a disturbance in how the brain normally functions. Our brain works by sending chemical messages from one part to another. When someone develops psychosis this may be due to a chemical imbalance in the brain, perhaps sending too much or too little chemical messages. Medication for psychosis works by trying to compensate for this chemical imbalance. Genetic factors These may include genetic vulnerability suggesting that in some instances it may be inherited, or physical factors such as impairment of the nervous system during very early development. Stress, drug abuse or social change Symptoms of psychosis often emerge in response to these. These are not causes of psychosis but it does seem that if you have a vulnerability then you may experience a psychotic episode. At this stage we cannot predict who will or who will not develop a psychosis. It has been suggested that if you have a vulnerability then to reduce stress in your life may assist you from having an episode. What are the Symptoms? Symptoms vary a lot from person to person, however, there are a number of quite common categories of symptoms.-some of these you will have experienced, others you may not have. Symptoms usually include changes in your thoughts, feelings and behaviours, making it hard for other people to understand you. In order to try to understand the experience of psychosis it is useful to group together some of the more characteristic symptoms. Problems in thinking You may have difficulty organising your thoughts, everyday thoughts become confused or don’t join up properly. Sentences are unclear or don’t make sense. You may have difficulty concentrating, following a conversation or remembering things. Thoughts seem to speed up or slow down. You may believe that your thoughts are being interfered with in some way. False beliefs or delusions It is common for a person experiencing a psychotic episode to hold false beliefs known as delusions. You may be so convinced of your delusion, that the most logical argument cannot make you change their mind. It seems real to you but does not seem real to other people. For example someone may be convinced from the way the cars are parked outside their house that they are being watched by the police. Hallucinations In psychosis the person sees, hears, feels, smells or tastes something that is not actually there and no one else has the same experience. For example you may hear voices which no one else can hear, or see things which aren’t there. Things may taste or smell as if they are bad or even poisoned. These hallucinations are very real to you. The voices you hear may tell you to do certain things or may be abusive or funny. Changed feelings How you feel may change for no apparent reason. You may feel strange and cut off from the world with everything moving in slow motion. Mood swings are common and you may feel unusually excited or depressed. Some times peoples emotions seem dampened-they feel less than they used to, or show less emotion to those around them. Changed behaviour People with psychosis behave differently from the way they usually do. You may be extremely active or lethargic sitting around all day, or sleeping a lot. You may laugh inappropriately or become angry or upset without a reason. You may find it difficult to talk to other people. Often changes in behaviour are associated with the symptoms already described above. For example, a person believing they are in danger may call the police, or they may stop eating because they believe the food is poisoned. Symptoms vary from person to person and may change over time. What are the types of Psychosis? When someone has a psychosis, a diagnosis of a particular psychotic illness is usually given. A diagnosis means identification of an illness by a person’s symptoms and the diagnosis will depend on what brought on the illness and how long the symptoms last. Many psychotic symptoms like hallucinations and delusions are common to all psychoses. This means that the boundaries between the different types of psychosis are blurred and it is often difficult to make a decision. The most common conditions in which psychosis occur are: Brief Psychotic Disorder - This is a psychosis that lasts less than one week that is a reaction to a severe tress. It can involve quite severe symptoms but recovery is quick. Organic Psychosis - This type of psychosis can be clearly related to a physical problem that disrupts brain functioning and is caused by illness or head injury. Substance-Induced Psychosis - This type of psychosis is associated with alcohol or drug abuse or withdrawal. It is usually brief with psychotic symptoms resolving as the effects of the substances wear off, although in some cases longer lasting psychotic illness seems to begin with substance induced psychosis. Bipolar Disorder (or Manic-Depression) - Bipolar Disorder is a mood disorder which may or may not be accompanied by psychotic symptoms. Prominent symptoms are extremes of mood both highs (mania) and lows (depression). Psychotic symptoms when present fit in with the person’s mood. Major Depressive Episode with Psychotic Features (or Psychotic Depression) - This diagnosis is made when there is depression with psychotic symptoms but without mania (high). Schizophrenia - This type of psychosis includes hallucinations, delusions and changes in behaviour, feelings and thinking that have been continuing for a period of at least six months. Schizophreniform Disorder - A psychosis like Schizophrenia however the symptoms last more than one month and less than six months. Schizoaffective Disorder - This diagnosis is made when the person has symptoms of both a mood disorder (depression or mania) and psychosis. Psychosis has many forms. Course and outcomes vary from person to person. What treatments are available? Medication is an essential treatment for psychosis. Along with other forms of treatment, it plays a fundamental role in recovery from a psychotic episode and in prevention of further episodes. Supportive psychotherapy or having someone to talk to about your illness, to provide reassurance and to assist with practical matters can be of great benefit. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy to learn ways to manage symptoms and to cope with feelings. Psychosocial rehabilitation to learn skills to return to everyday activities. Social and professional support, and education of yourself and family members about your illness has been found to be of great benefit.