Divorce, child-rearing: What's the truth?
The American family has been undergoing a "democratization" over the last 30 years -- a changing of roles and responsibilities. And, "like all democratic revolutions, it's been messy,'' says author and professor Stephanie Coontz.
Take no-fault divorce: Researchers with the Chicago-based Council on Contemporary Families found that, in the years immediately following the legal change designed to make marital breakups easier, there was a 20 percent decline in the suicide rates of wives.
"Freer divorce was literally a lifesaver for many people,'' says Coontz, author of Marriage, A History.On the other hand, "it's also meant that people can walk away from situations prematurely.''
Or consider child-rearing: Parents are much more likely to be emotionally connected and friendly with their kids than in the past. Generally, that's "a good thing,'' says Coontz.
"But some [parents], in the process of doing that, have torn down generational boundaries and need to be re-educated that you can't be your kid's best friend," she said.
Coontz and about 130 other social researchers are gathering at the University of Chicago on Friday and Saturday to explore some of those changes in family dynamics, a conference that marks the 10th anniversary of the founding of the council.
The group, which includes sociologists, therapists and university researchers, was launched in reaction to the right-driven "family values" debates, which used, in the council's eyes, faulty research to bolster arguments against matters ranging from divorce to working mothers to same-sex marriages.
"We heard all this talk about things that [were] not based on real research, just claims [that came] from their own ideas and values,'' she said.
Today, Coontz argues that the council has no political bent and cites feminist complaints that her book "didn't recognize how oppressive marriage is to women."
The right isn't buying it: "The Council on Contemporary Families has never met a new family trend they didn't like. If it's new, it's great,'' said Glenn Stanton, a researcher for the Christian conservative group Focus on the Family.
Stanton accuses the council of "family relativism,'' which he likens to a buffet line in a restaurant where "you pick whatever appeals to you, and one is just as good as another.''
"In actuality, we know some choices are not as good as another,'' says Stanton. "Divorce has not delivered on its promise to provide good things for adults and children; co-habitation has not been good; single parenting by choice has not been good.''
The matter is more than just a war of words between pointy-heads. Legislators often rely on academic research to bolster arguments for family law.
Coontz says the question today is "not what kind of family you wish people lived in," but understanding the way families exist today. Source: BY ANDREW HERRMANN Chicago SunTimes
